I know my blog is supposed to be dead. But hehehe a small revival is okay right?
Promos are coming. Yea feeling the pressure now. Hmm I realised Im not putting enough effort as much as I put in for JCT. Looking at my frends during chem lessons make me feel so lost. THey have prepared very well for this battle. Im not.
Just watched Wall.E. Quite a nice show.
Just thought of this thing. IM not emo btw. Just happened to think about it. I really miss those NCHS days. I miss staying at Compass Heights. Not that I do not like my new home. I actually prefer my new home. Convenient and stuff. But, theres just something that endears me to all things related to NCHS. School, keks, birds, wawawa, Compass Point, so many more.
However, I realised that when we met, it is not possible to recreate these scenes anymore. Sometimes we even feel awkward. I mean the atmosphere seemed awkward. Met with NCHS friends for some time already. The most recent that I enjoyed was during e-learning week Thursday. We met for a simple Jack's Place dinner. We really had fun, talking about each other, the current JC life, and best of all, talk about NCHS. I guess almost everyone misses NCHS no matter what. This feeling is unavoidable. But somehow, we have matured. The casual talks are no longer that casual anymore. The keks do not feel so sincere. Lesser wawawas heard. I guess everyone have grown, including me.
I used to think Im the only one trapped in this vicious cycle. The more you try to recreate the scenes you enjoy, I think the more damaged these memories become. I tried introducing keks to my JC friends. It lasted only for a few weeks, and how glad I was. The keks are something special to NCHS people, maybe 4H to be specific and sometimes other classes too. SOmetimes recreating a fad you enjoy will not reap the same results you want, and this would really damage the wonderful memories we shared with those fad and stuff. How I miss those NCHS days.
Coming to TJC have made us a different person. Its just that, I feel that NCHS have imbued in us a character that only fits in the NCHS context. Im not very sure, but noticing how Yi Long, Ren Jie and Aloy kept on haging with one another reinforces this. NCHS people are always NCHS, always together. School's being far is one thing. Another thing is about the surroundings. Im surprised this year time really flies, even though I do not really enjoy it as much as during in NCHS. There are only 6 NCHS ppl in TJC. Im lucky to have my new home closer to church. Its just a 5 minute walk. Maybe being in TJC is a blessing in disguise. All the struggles I have put up here in PW, studies, friendships and stuff, I seek comfort in God. Just like what Wilson said, we have grown spiritually ever since we are here. Also, I sometimes never came across the fact that church friends can be closer than school friends. I always thought of 5 days vs 2 days, that also if you go to church on Sat. But really, Im so happy to have settled in my church, where the friends there arte really very wonderful people. Well, if you asked me the happiest days this year, let me see. I think it would have been the church camp during March holidays, then the day my church friend stayed over at my house, and the Sentosa event, including the preparation days. Sometimes I feel sad, as I never settled into the church earlier. I could have settled there since sec 3, when I first went there. But at that time I only went there for 2 weeks. I dunno y. Thank you, Father, for bringing me to Your home. Im so glad to be part of the family.
Im supposed to study for chem now. Im so guilty for typing this long post, but I just want to write more. Im not very strong mentally. At the start of this year, especially at the start of JAE and July to early August, I faced many difficulties. I cried much more as compared to the 4 years in NCHS. I cried not over studies. Im not so academically motivated until that extent. Well, sometimes thinbking the situation I am in now, as compared to the situation in NCHS, I feel very sad. And PW is really a strain. But ever since 080808, when Ben and Jia Hong came over to do PW, I never regretted being in this all boys grp. Sure we lack a girl, are not creative and cannot stick to schedules, but after so much, I feel I will leave PW with more than just the mark, be it A, B, C, or anything else. Even Jia Hong agreed. We even fought over who to pay for a meal we wanna hold after OP. Sometimes I think why am I in TJC. Im not happy here. With 7 points, I maybe could have gone NJC, the place I wanna be. Then it could maybe like NCHS. After PSLE scores were announced, I straight away placed NCHS as 1st choice. I made up my mind already at that time. Its the place I wanna go. And I never regretted it. But then, after 8 half months in TJC, I think this place is special too. Matured I have became, in thinking and also behavior. Dun mind me being quiet nowadays, deep inside, I wanna be like last time, so carefree and full of laughter. Take note, I am not emo and will never be emo. I prefer depressed. Depressed at least it means you have a reason to be feeling that way. sometimes being quiet just makes you feel better.
Just a little someting. Never be too possesive over a friend. Really, it works.
2008. A year to remember. And its only not even 3/4 complete! Im looking forward to a grand finale. Im sure there will be one. Or at least many more interesting things to occur in the last 100 days or so.