JC really sort of make us different. Sometimes I wonder. 4H is really a nice class to be in. Its just that, I cant stop but think that, what they always said is true.

When we were always wawaing people, keking people, calling people most pros, most tall, most thin and all those wonderful things, some of us would comment this: " I wonder how we will survive in society, since we are all this lame and childish and ghey." Lol that term ghey I really miss. I think no one except Hybridians really know hw to define ghey the right way. I've tried in my PAE CG, but then, no one understood.

Now in JC, and already 8 months to the foray, I think the comment that no one took seriously came true after all. Haha, I got to admit I am a victim of it too. I really miss 4H, NCHS and Compass Point. All those wawawas, muscles, keks and stuff. I wonder. If you do enjoy your secondary school, is it good or bad? Having such a wonderful secondary period, it somehow act as a burden. Cos whatever you do, you wioll try comparing to sec sch and you feel that sec sch is way better than this. Not that TJC is really bad.

Deep inside I really wanna be like last time. I really wanna be like last time. I want all those moments again. The wawawas, the keks and things. But I know I really cannot introduce these terms. These are wad tht makes 4H special. They define 4H. They are what that makes a Hybridian. I think I will just let things take its course and so smth else will define TJC, smth that I will think of when I miss TJC. TJC isnt bad, its nice but then, I dun even knw if I will miss it.

I wanna be like last time. Cheerful, lame and so like myselfg. Not like nw where Im so reserved.
2008. about 75% gone. what a year it has been. The theme for this year for me would be "Irony and Reminiscence" I guess. 3 more months to go. It has been an exciting year for sure.

This reminds me of my fave song 'Sleeping Child' by Michael Learns to Rock. It says something like this "The world so wild but you've built your own paradise". I think I am smth like tht. While in JC everyone have chnged to adapt to JC life and get on, I think I am the sleeping child. The world is so wild and yet I am still stuck in NCHS fantasy. I dunno if this applies to anyone else.

I went to F1 Qualifying ytd. It was not very nice. I recommend next time watch on TV. But going to City Hall MRT reminds me of my very 1st flag day.I was still in 2E. It was a very fun day capped off with a splendid "Charlie and the chocolate factory" movie. That day was fun. walking all the way to esplanade, ROM, all the way from Orchard, Swissotel and so on. Those days. Reminiscence, reminiscence.

Lastly, how I miss those times I can laugh so sincerely and thoroughly enjoying myself. The last time was in March I think. In the church camp. It was just a short 4D3N and I didnt spent all the time there. Cos got supplementary lessons. But then the last night was very enjoyable. Everyone stayed up to play some games. It was very fun. The joy and laughter was genuine. Reminiscence, reminiscence, reminiscence, reminiscence.

Things just have to be left behind, no matter whether they are memories, or history. I think what my friend said is true.

Promos are coming and this reminded me of last year, preparing for prelims.
Some of the many things I really missed in sec school. Many thought Bryan and I are rivals, always competing for the top spot in class. We challenge one another, hide our secrets from one another. But no. Thats so not true. One thing I enjoyed in 4H was our friendship.
I met Bryan in sec 1 end of years before holidays. Someone from 1F told me Bryan was the 6th in level. I was 10th at tht time. In sec 2, when Mr Raffi taught 2E and 2F, as we always held math lessons together, Bryan and I became more friendlier with one another. We did get to the same class in 3H. Haha. How I enjoyed our friendship. While most thinks we are rivals, do not like one another and so on, we are actually very good friends. We always talked abt soccer, draw on math textbooks, and gunbound and stuff. Things were fun. What was better was that, we never hide anything from each other. When we encounter a problem in academics, like what we thought, we always shared with one another, and we tried to solve it ourselves. We shared our strategies, only to find out my waking up early trick do not work for him. I forgot his strategy tho. But I really treasure that freindship, so sincere.

I dun think I can share that kind of friendship here in JC. I also dunno why.
Well, Bryan is only an example, there are also many other friendships I miss. Its true we have matured, and what Im afraid most in a class reunion is that the chemistry between us is gone. Not like I have integrated to my current JC class either.

Things just have to be left behind, no matter whether they are memories, or history. I think what my friend said is true.

After 2 days after a long post, I think maybe should summarise the previous post.
I still cannot let go of NCHS.
TJC is now a better place to be in, although I do not really like school like last time nw. 50/100 maybe.
Im quiet these few days, but doesnt mean Im emo. Deep inside, I wanna be like last time, so carefree and happy and cheerful. But I think it cannot happen in TJC.
Do not recreate the scenes that you enjoy in the past. If the results are not satisfactory, your wonderful memories will be damaged. Eg, the kek.

Im not alone in school. Theres about 3 friends I always hang around with in school. But I dun think I can really feel easy with them. I dunno which would be better - to have friends but not be urself? Or to have no friends at all?
I recommend to watch Wall.E. Its a very nice show really. One of the best shows I watched so far. Really, its a very innocent yet heartwarming show. I would watch it again if anyone wants to watch with me.

I know my blog is supposed to be dead. But hehehe a small revival is okay right?
Promos are coming. Yea feeling the pressure now. Hmm I realised Im not putting enough effort as much as I put in for JCT. Looking at my frends during chem lessons make me feel so lost. THey have prepared very well for this battle. Im not.
Just watched Wall.E. Quite a nice show.
Just thought of this thing. IM not emo btw. Just happened to think about it. I really miss those NCHS days. I miss staying at Compass Heights. Not that I do not like my new home. I actually prefer my new home. Convenient and stuff. But, theres just something that endears me to all things related to NCHS. School, keks, birds, wawawa, Compass Point, so many more.
However, I realised that when we met, it is not possible to recreate these scenes anymore. Sometimes we even feel awkward. I mean the atmosphere seemed awkward. Met with NCHS friends for some time already. The most recent that I enjoyed was during e-learning week Thursday. We met for a simple Jack's Place dinner. We really had fun, talking about each other, the current JC life, and best of all, talk about NCHS. I guess almost everyone misses NCHS no matter what. This feeling is unavoidable. But somehow, we have matured. The casual talks are no longer that casual anymore. The keks do not feel so sincere. Lesser wawawas heard. I guess everyone have grown, including me.
I used to think Im the only one trapped in this vicious cycle. The more you try to recreate the scenes you enjoy, I think the more damaged these memories become. I tried introducing keks to my JC friends. It lasted only for a few weeks, and how glad I was. The keks are something special to NCHS people, maybe 4H to be specific and sometimes other classes too. SOmetimes recreating a fad you enjoy will not reap the same results you want, and this would really damage the wonderful memories we shared with those fad and stuff. How I miss those NCHS days.
Coming to TJC have made us a different person. Its just that, I feel that NCHS have imbued in us a character that only fits in the NCHS context. Im not very sure, but noticing how Yi Long, Ren Jie and Aloy kept on haging with one another reinforces this. NCHS people are always NCHS, always together. School's being far is one thing. Another thing is about the surroundings. Im surprised this year time really flies, even though I do not really enjoy it as much as during in NCHS. There are only 6 NCHS ppl in TJC. Im lucky to have my new home closer to church. Its just a 5 minute walk. Maybe being in TJC is a blessing in disguise. All the struggles I have put up here in PW, studies, friendships and stuff, I seek comfort in God. Just like what Wilson said, we have grown spiritually ever since we are here. Also, I sometimes never came across the fact that church friends can be closer than school friends. I always thought of 5 days vs 2 days, that also if you go to church on Sat. But really, Im so happy to have settled in my church, where the friends there arte really very wonderful people. Well, if you asked me the happiest days this year, let me see. I think it would have been the church camp during March holidays, then the day my church friend stayed over at my house, and the Sentosa event, including the preparation days. Sometimes I feel sad, as I never settled into the church earlier. I could have settled there since sec 3, when I first went there. But at that time I only went there for 2 weeks. I dunno y. Thank you, Father, for bringing me to Your home. Im so glad to be part of the family.
Im supposed to study for chem now. Im so guilty for typing this long post, but I just want to write more. Im not very strong mentally. At the start of this year, especially at the start of JAE and July to early August, I faced many difficulties. I cried much more as compared to the 4 years in NCHS. I cried not over studies. Im not so academically motivated until that extent. Well, sometimes thinbking the situation I am in now, as compared to the situation in NCHS, I feel very sad. And PW is really a strain. But ever since 080808, when Ben and Jia Hong came over to do PW, I never regretted being in this all boys grp. Sure we lack a girl, are not creative and cannot stick to schedules, but after so much, I feel I will leave PW with more than just the mark, be it A, B, C, or anything else. Even Jia Hong agreed. We even fought over who to pay for a meal we wanna hold after OP. Sometimes I think why am I in TJC. Im not happy here. With 7 points, I maybe could have gone NJC, the place I wanna be. Then it could maybe like NCHS. After PSLE scores were announced, I straight away placed NCHS as 1st choice. I made up my mind already at that time. Its the place I wanna go. And I never regretted it. But then, after 8 half months in TJC, I think this place is special too. Matured I have became, in thinking and also behavior. Dun mind me being quiet nowadays, deep inside, I wanna be like last time, so carefree and full of laughter. Take note, I am not emo and will never be emo. I prefer depressed. Depressed at least it means you have a reason to be feeling that way. sometimes being quiet just makes you feel better.
Just a little someting. Never be too possesive over a friend. Really, it works.
2008. A year to remember. And its only not even 3/4 complete! Im looking forward to a grand finale. Im sure there will be one. Or at least many more interesting things to occur in the last 100 days or so.